Its day 3, which means challenge 3 and coincidentally it is the 3rd of October; three really is the magic number is would seem. My 3rd task is focused on my relationships, and how gratitude can be a powerful tool in improving them. "To receive the life of my dreams, its vital that I understand how relationships affect things. They are the most powerful channels for gratitude to start magically changing a life". Word.
Did you know that statistics suggest that for everyone one complaint you make about another person, it would take 10 positive remarks for the relationship to flourish? Increasing the gratitude you have for a relationship will improve it drastically. "You will have more patience, understanding, compassion, and kindness to the point you wont recognise yourself". My 9 year old brother will test that theory (so he does have a use after all). Byrne goes on to explain how powerful words are, and that when we complain about a person or a situation we are actually harming ourselves (You get what you give, remember?). So today's practice was about appreciating people, just as they are. I had to chose three of my closest relationships to be grateful for, and write down 5 reasons for each person explaining why I was thankful for them in my life.
I went with my best friend from Uni, who rarely speak to since graduating. The guy I am kind of seeing at the moment (communication has come to a grinding halt as of late- distance is a bitch- so this can only help...right?!) and (you got it) my 9 year old brother, Matt. The book instructs me to carry a photo of each person and find 3 points throughout the day to say 'thankyou' for that person. I used my iPhone to create a snazzy collage as my background so that whenever I checked the time, or got a text, I was reminded of today's challenge.
And do you know what? It worked! I have arranged to Skype my best friend for the first time in months this weekend, and have been pleasantly reminded that my brother is actually a pretty cool kid. Probably the best thing to come from this, is my progress with 'him'. I am usually very stubborn when it comes to guys, so if they haven't contacted me I will automatically shut up shop and begin to over think everything, refusing to make the first move. Well not today; I rang him. Yes. Me! And things are completely fine- I was doing the classic girl move of over analysising and creating a problem out of nothing. If anything, I have learnt that by staying positive and actually DOING something to resolve a relationship, rather than suffering quietly, it can make the world of difference. Maybe silence isn't golden after all?
My new 10 blessings are written and ready to go for tomorrow morning, my magical stone is by my bedside as I am pondering what the best part of my day was. Pharrells new song 'Happy' that was introduced to me this morning (listen to it- its impossible not to smile!), coming home to the delicious smell of Mum cooking her own strawberry jam or bumping into an old school friend and getting lost in fond memories? One things for sure, I am going to sleep smiling for the first time in a while...x
At 6am this morning my alarm went off, two hours prior to my normal wake up call.You may be reading this from the other side of the world, so let me set the scene for you...
I live in Sussex, a county bordering South London, so winter is very much on its way. At this time it is pitch black here, and already the cold is seeping in through the windows. The temptation to hit the infamous 'Snooze' button never looked so good. Alas- I propped up my pillows to read my list of 10 blessings before heading to start my new gym regime. I found it easier to really absorb what I was saying by reading it aloud, and instantly I was smiling. I'm not exactly sure who I am saying thank you to, but I beamed up to say the magic words. I suddenly felt wide awake and ready for the day ahead.
Things were pretty smooth sailing to begin with, I felt rather upbeat after my work out and even stopped at my local corner shop to buy a few gifts for my co-workers to help the hump day blues. Who doesn't enjoy a reindeer shaped Malteser chocolate bar? Good karma is surely coming my way.
However after a few hours I could feel myself becoming stressed and swamped down by the activities that come with being an office employee. I did read my list to myself and felt a surge of happiness for a while, but sadly this did not last the afternoon. By 5pm I was tired and ready for home like any Wednesday.
But remember- this is only day one of my journey to a magical life. I tried to remain positive when my colleagues had a moan to because we had no milk in, and steered clear of joining in on any office gossip. Although I did succumb to that hum-drum, negative, 'meh' feeling that I am sure so many of you are familiar with, my day started off a lot brighter than usual and I did have my 'blessing list' as a secret weapon to perk me up when needed. Overall I would say I was off to a pretty good start. By practicing gratitude daily, hopefully this will become a habit and one that will last past my 28 day experiment.
My newest challenge is to find a 'Magic Rock'. The purpose of my rock is to hold it in the palm of my hand before I go to bed and think back to the best part of my day before saying thank you to the universe. I have a rose-quartz stone given to me by my best friend which perfectly suits this latest practice. As I lay in bed this evening, I have a few happy moments to chose from; meeting up with my close friend for a chai latte at lunch, burning 400 calories on the cross trainer this morning, or the fact my work friend and I both found a common interest in Whams classic music video 'Last Christmas' (the 80's hair doo's, the oversized cosy jumpers, that warm fuzzy Christmas feeling you get; whats not to love?).
If you're thinking about giving these challenges a go, I would so far recommend it. Little by little, I'm starting to find good in the most unexpected of places....x
On reading the first chapter of The Magic, I am already feeling pretty chirpy. I am promised that "I may not see reindeer fly, but I will see things I have always wanted appearing before my eyes" if I stick to the 28 day challenge. Big talk.
Similar to her previous books, Byrne looks into the concept of gratitude and the law of the Universe; 'like attracts like'. The more we show our gratitude the more we receive. I would have said I am a pretty grateful person. But on diving a few pages further, it dawns on me, I am quite the opposite. Rather than searching for the good in my day, I am guilty of complaining about my co-workers, how difficult a certain customer was, the lack of energy I have- it tends to be easier to moan and groan rather than stop to make a conscious effort to find a positive. Byrne explains that "Whatever you think and feel, you attract to you". Which makes perfect sense; since returning home from my travels all I have focused on is the car I don't have, my debt piling up, and worrying about what the infamous 'next step' is. Like a magnet, the thoughts I am sending out are being sent straight back to me, and so it becomes a viscous cycle of more debt, more worrying and no sign of a car any time soon.
This is something I have done on auto-pilot. I have let my responsibilities and worries get in the way of life and enjoying everything it has to offer. Even the little pleasures that can be found day to day. Like my favorite song on the radio when I wake up, the autumn leaves and the crisp air on my walk to work, the coffee on my desk that's always waiting for me courtesy of my colleague. Turns out its pretty easy to find things to be grateful for, even in what may appear to be a mundane Tuesday. Byrne herself admits before practicing gratitude daily, that she "wasn't living, but surviving from day to day, paycheck to paycheck". Sounds familiar. By making an effort to be thankful, we can find ourselves falling head over heels back in love with life. If we focus on truly being thankful for what we have, we will "feel light as a feather, and happier than we've ever felt before".
So how do I take this first step into re-building my happy, little life?
Step One By saying the magic words of course; 'Thankyou'. The truer the feeling, the more sincerely grateful we are, the faster life will change.
Step Two Get clear about what I really want. I am instructed to make a list in every area of my life (relationships, career, finances, health etc.)
Step Three Start my 28 day challenge. Challenge one is titled Count My Blessings. Make a list of ten blessings I am thankful for and why. Read the list aloud first thing in the morning, and continue to add 10 things for the next 28 days, repeating this routine.
Just putting pen to paper and reminding myself of all the things I would love to have and do has sparked a fire in me, a determination to achieve this wish list. From exploring South America, to buying a car and getting into good shape, to seeing my new favorite band the 1975's live, a rush of excitement has run through me whenever I read my list today.
Step three seemed a little tricky at first; I began with the usual cliche blessings that lacked any luster- "Thankyou for my Mum because she looks after me" etc. Top cringe. But after I truly began to think about how lucky I am to have the life I already do, my 10 bullet points filled up pretty fast. Reading my blessings back puts a smile on my face and I do genuinely feel a little glow. I have even set my alarm to 6am so I can hit the gym before work (Shifting 10 pounds is on my wish list you see). Already I am feeling more productive and proactive, and I am looking forward to tomorrow for this new, positive, happy lifestyle change.
Let my magical life begin... x
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